If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All the doctor said was why
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
