Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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