Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
