Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
