so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
