I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
