i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
