Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
