is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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