Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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