Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
