everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
