So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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