Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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