I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
