I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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