Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
