To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
