So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
