The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize