I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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