I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
