some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
