I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
