Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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