i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
