I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize