oh god the rape fog is back!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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