oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All I want is dick and wine.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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