They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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