if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
