peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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