i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF