i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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