she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
