Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
