im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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