I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize