It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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