he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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