1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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