I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
