are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
