If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
