can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
