I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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