..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize