i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
