All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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