It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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