Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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