he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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