Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
