Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
