just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
