i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.