i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I don't deserve a penis
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.