that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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