apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.