dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.