I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
